Chuck-E-Cheese’s, or Chaat-n-Chais?

In a land where Disney princesses and Tinkerbells rule, hatching clever ploys to win little minds over, by tempting them to dress up, play pretend, and celebrate birthdays spinning around their themes, there is little a poor desi mom of a toddler can do to resist. When my little girl turned one last year, the onus of choosing her birthday theme, and organizing a party that catered to the needs of well-meaning, hungry adults (mostly desi) and of course, some of their sugar-rushed little ones, was entirely on me. But now that she’s turning two, she seems to have been taught a thing or two about birthdays by her little friends, the television, and Toys “R” Us.

Among the scores of fancy themes out there, I learnt just the other day that Strawberry Shortcake is back in the business, and full swing. One of my daughter’s little friends had a Strawberry Shortcake themed birthday party, and like hordes of other desi parents about, I wondered how a casserole full of steaming idlis would go with Strawberry Jelly on the side; or how best one could complement the spiciness of “vadas” with say, Honey Pie Pony patchwork buns. Like all desi moms, I too am bound by the gregariousness and food-sharing values that govern our general idea of fiestas. The Chuck-E-Cheese’s and McDonald’s birthday parties are few and far between for us. We can’t seem to get accustomed to the notion that pizzas, French fries and coke can make for a fairly decent birthday meal. Our celebrations call for a multi-course spread, with savories and sweets that can satiate the littlest and biggest of appetites; besides, kids’ birthdays are merely reasons for our cooking ranges to smolder and whip up delicacies.

Back at home in India, food was always at the center of birthdays and special occasions. Even as my thoughts take me down memory lane, I realize, as a child, I never had a themed birthday party thrown in my honor. No dining tables with ritzy fanfare of food and drinks in gleaming china or glassware, no glitzy trimmings adorning the house, no bean bag tosses or other fancy games to be played, and no party favors hiding under tables or on discreet closet shelves, for a growing guest list that could take my diligent mother by surprise. Neighbors, friends and relatives clocked in and out of the house uninvitedly, ate simple home-cooked food out of bottomless pots, and huddled around one, showering wishes, singing, and sharing more food and stories that bound everyone in a curious sense of belonging. Birthdays were meant to be spent with one’s nears and dears, beginning with an offering of prayers to the family deity, and culminating with a hearty (extended) family meal, eaten, on occasion, out of broad, fresh plantain leaves (a natural, eco-friendly substitute for the synthetic, disposable varieties one can buy from the Party City outlets here). The only embellishments that added color to the house were the attractive “rangoli” patterns in the frontyard, the “puja” corner; and strings of fresh mango leaf frippery that hung from door tops. The open kitchen provided space, warmth, and food for everyone --- right from the weary vegetable vendor who was offered a glass of lemonade, to the uninvited friends who were offered simple servings of home-cooked food, when they stopped by to wish one.

With only a few days to go before my little girl turns two, I am wondering how to reorient the way I entertain, to suit a crowd that is not only eclectic, but also finicky. If the Indian way of celebrating is distinctive, the Indian palate is rather accommodating in relation to the mild American appetite. So, if the “samosas” and “bhel puris” stack up on one corner of the table, one must also pile up hot cross buns and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches across on the other side, to offset all the spiciness. And then, to wash them down with, one must stock up on the Welches and colas, as alternates to the tangy “lassis” and perky “masala chais.” And once the diverse appetites have been whetted and catered to, it will be time for other forms of entertainment, and the indigenous “antakshari” might not go too well with a scavenger-hunt-fanatic pack.

While I figure out the xyzs of obliging to a mixed party crowd later, I must heed a more imperative need for planning the logistics of a mega Toys “R” Us fun time in the heart of Manhattan, where my little one, in her colorful Springwear, will ride on the giant Ferris Wheel, cuddle her favorite plush toy, admire the latest fashion trends of Barbie in her star home, and possibly, squeal in delight upon seeing her favorite mammoth Dino. She will, of course, visit and greet her favorite “elephant-faced” God at the temple, and relish a bowl of her favorite “kheer” prior to all that, dolled up in a bright, embroidered “lehenga.”